That, or I just put them to one side, secretly knowing what I wanted to happen. I'd always heard rumours that Conor was gay, but I never really believed them. I tried to change it, but nothing worked. And every time I watched porn I found myself imagining myself in the place of the girl, focusing on nothing but cock. But every time I slept with someone I couldn't help but imagine what it was like to be on the bottom, or on my knees sucking cock. I'd tried getting with girls but something always felt empty about it, like I was just going through the motions. I didn't know any gay people, and where I grew up most people were homophobic, so I never had a chance to experiment. I'd always wondered if I was gay, but I'd never had the nerves to find out. I thought I was straight, but Conor showed me the joys of sucking cock
